Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters

After getting a taste for blood as children, Hansel (Jeremy Renner) and Gretel (Gemma Arterton) have become the ultimate vigilantes, hell-bent on retribution. Now, unbeknownst to them, Hansel and Gretel have become the hunted, and must face an evil far greater than witches...their past.

Jack Reacher

I'm the first to admit that going into this film I had low expectations. Cruise is a decent enough actor and well suited for the genre, but the plot seemed derivative and overly pedantic, just another flick I'd catch because...well...I'm a dude and the preview mentioned something about guns and explosives.

Surprisingly, the plot played out steadily, not needing to be propped up by a few well placed action sequences. While, if you've seen any movie ever in your life, you'll be able to predict what's going to ultimately happen, "Reacher" maintains a consistent level of intrigue and charm through the whole length of the film. I appreciated that the action scenes actually added to the plot. I was expecting some random "Look how awesome I am at fighting" scenes tossed into the mix, and was happy to see that while those scenes are absolutely in there, they also help move the plot forward. Good thinking, action-movie-maker-people (pretty sure that's the correct technical job title, but don't quote me on that...)

In sum, without telling you a thing about the film (because I hate summaries that are just spoilers in disguise), you can feel good about spending your money on this one. You'll enjoy it. Even if you hate Tom Cruise. That's right, I'm talking to you, Katie...

Riki-Oh: The Story of Ricky [Blu-ray]

You MUST buy/rent/steal the video "the story of Ricki Oh"....An instant classic and quite possibly the most violent, gory, and graphic film ever made. Multiple gorings, eye gougings,stabbings, impalings, and dismemberments. Dudes get buried alive, encased in concrete, flayed, their tongues cut out, crushed under presses, and run through meat grinders. Guys are chopped in the face with swords, boards studded with nails, and have wood planes run up their face. Did I menntion that the prison warden in this movie shoots prisoners with exploding bullets that make them expand like balloons beforee they burst like road kill underneath a car tire?

The hero ricki punched through dudes, decapitates his enemies with oopen fist blows, crushes guys heads like he's popping a zit. There's even a scene where a guy, who is about to die in a fight with Ricki, grabs a knife and stabs himself in the stomach...then he pulls out his intestines and tries to strangle ricki with them....

With memorable lines like:
"They gave me 30 pounds of rice to cut you up, turn you into mince meat, and put you in a pie..."
"Oscar has shown his tatoos...now he must kill!!!!"
"Ricki, I am your uncle. I have known you since your were 7 or 8 years old, when you possessed suoperjuman strength. Do you still possess your super human strength?"
"Chi Cong feeds on strength!!!!!"
"I have hit you in your death spot..soon you will die"
"His style of Kung Fu is unorthodox...I do not think I can defeat him..."

Sons of Anarchy: Season 7

SOA is one, single work of art. It can't fairly or accurately be judged or critiqued based on an episode or a season. It is one story. I am so tired of reading about the violence of Season 7 and the lack of "emotional resonance". There is a reason that things are so different now. The decisions that have been made by the characters in the past have brought them to this point. There is no "emotional resonance" with Jax because he has shut down all of his emotions due to the pain of losing his wife and he is totally emotionally numb. Obviously, if he lives long enough and the narrative continues long enough, we will get to see him have to deal with his emotions when they come crashing back. No one can box their emotions away indefinitely. We will also get to see him have to deal with the consequences of all the violence that has been caused by his mother's lie and his numbness-fueled rage. The violence is an integral part of the story and anyone who is offended by it shouldn't even own a television. The worldviews and behaviors of the characters have no bearing on the character of Kurt Sutter.

All of you who want to personally attack Mr. Sutter because of the behavior of his characters are of low I.Q. and questionable parentage. The behavior of his characters is based on behavior exhibited by thousands of thousands of real people everyday. Criminal organizations have always been racially segregated. They have always used, dare I say, the "N-word", and other racial epithets when referring to individuals outside of their group. These people are a product of their environment and they are morally bankrupt. The world is full of them. And all of you who want to censor Kurt or any other storyteller because the world's that they create contain people that you don't agree with would love to do the same thing to the world we live in. You are SICK. Violence and racism are alive and well. Born in the hearts of men. This story contains some of those men and it certainly doesn't take anything away from its value or credibility. This show is pure genius.

Regardless of how it ends, nothing can take that away. I will mourn these characters when they have passed from my life.

Fury [Blu-ray]

FURY is incredible. This film that brings WWII closest to the reality of horror more than any other film that I have seen. There is no glory here, simply a sense of despair and imminent death in more horrible ways that can be imagined. You don't live, you don't survive, you just exist in a war. That is what kept going through my mind. FURY is an experience. I kept having flashbacks of my friend who served in the 1st Infantry division in WWII from Casablanca all the way through to Czechoslovakia. We spent many coffee breaks together and he told me many things he saw and witnessed. He told me how he felt and how others felt and acted. I saw a lot of what he said about war in FURY. I cannot explain it, but this movie hit home. I just saw it at the theater and wanted to write about it.

There is one scene in the film that is just so realistic, and that is when the replacement who has only had 8 weeks of training is assigned to Brad Pitt's crew. He has a meltdown in the tank and the words he spoke were almost exactly what my 1st division friend had told me he had seen. Near the end of the war they were taking anybody they could find as replacements. It did not matter if they could see, what color they were, or how old they were. And some broke down, some ran, many didn't. The point here is that all these things go through your mind and that is where FURY hits you. It makes you think, it makes you feel and then think again. Who would ever want to be in a war? This is a one of a kind movie. You have to see it.

Star Wars: The Complete Saga (Episodes I-VI) [Blu-ray]

Star Wars: The Complete Blu-ray Saga will feature all six live-action Star Wars feature films utilizing the highest possible picture and audio presentation.

Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace
(32 Years Before Episode IV) Stranded on the desert planet Tatooine after rescuing young Queen Amidala from the impending invasion of Naboo, Jedi apprentice Obi-Wan Kenobi and his Jedi Master discover nine-year-old Anakin Skywalker, a young slave unusually strong in the Force. Anakin wins a thrilling Podrace and with it his freedom as he leaves his home to be trained as a Jedi. The heroes return to Naboo where Anakin and the Queen face massive invasion forces while the two Jedi contend with a deadly foe named Darth Maul. Only then do they realize the invasion is merely the first step in a sinister scheme by the re-emergent forces of darkness known as the Sith.

Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones
(22 Years Before Episode IV) Ten years after the events of the Battle of Naboo, not only has the galaxy undergone significant change, but so have Obi-Wan Kenobi, Padmé Amidala, and Anakin Skywalker as they are thrown together again for the first time since the Trade Federation invasion of Naboo. Anakin has grown into the accomplished Jedi apprentice of Obi-Wan, who himself has transitioned from student to teacher. The two Jedi are assigned to protect Padmé whose life is threatened by a faction of political separatists. As relationships form and powerful forces collide, these heroes face choices that will impact not only their own fates, but the destiny of the Republic.

Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith
(19 Years before Episode IV) Three years after the onset of the Clone Wars, the noble Jedi Knights have been leading a massive clone army into a galaxy-wide battle against the Separatists. When the sinister Sith unveil a thousand-year-old plot to rule the galaxy, the Republic crumbles and from its ashes rises the evil Galactic Empire. Jedi hero Anakin Skywalker is seduced by the dark side of the Force to become the Emperor's new apprentice--Darth Vader. The Jedi are decimated, as Obi-Wan Kenobi and Jedi Master Yoda are forced into hiding. The only hope for the galaxy are Anakin's own offspring.

Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope
Nineteen years after the formation of the Empire, Luke Skywalker is thrust into the struggle of the Rebel Alliance when he meets Obi-Wan Kenobi, who has lived for years in seclusion on the desert planet of Tatooine. Obi-Wan begins Luke's Jedi training as Luke joins him on a daring mission to rescue the beautiful Rebel leader Princess Leia from the clutches of the evil Empire.

Star Wars Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back
Luke Skywalker and his friends have set up a new base on the ice planet of Hoth, but it is not long before their secret location is discovered by the evil Empire. After narrowly escaping, Luke splits off from his friends to seek out a Jedi Master called Yoda. Meanwhile, Han Solo, Chewbacca, Princess Leia, and C-3PO seek sanctuary at a city in the Clouds run by Lando Calrissian, an old friend of Han’s. But little do they realize that Darth Vader already awaits them.

Star Wars Episode VI: Return of the Jedi
(4 years after Episode IV) In the epic conclusion of the saga, the Empire prepares to crush the Rebellion with a more powerful Death Star while the Rebel fleet mounts a massive attack on the space station. Luke Skywalker confronts Darth Vader in a final climactic duel before the evil Emperor.

How to Train Your Dragon 2

How to Train Your Dragon 2 is a film that spreads its mighty wings and soars through the clouds in a blaze of color, music, beauty, and magic. While watching it, I could only think of one word to describe how I felt; I was *dazzled*. I was entranced, beguiled, roused, wowed, and awestruck. This may seem like high praise to give to a children's movie, especially one coming from the studio who just gave us that instant classic Mr. Peabody and Sherman (note: sarcasm). I assure you this is not: How to Train Your Dragon 2 is not just the finest children's film of the year. It is one of the finest films of the year, period.

Director Dean DeBlois is a true artist. He weaves vivid images with the rousing and beautiful, ethereal John Powell score into a sensory feast that delights the eyes, head, and heart (the triple trifecta of movie awesomeness). Going literally where no camera can, Dragon 2 conjures up vast blue skies, loafy white clouds, shattered thorns of ice, vast battles, duelling titans, and explosions of whirling dragons. The visuals are, yes, dazzling, the CGI amazing, the imagery electrifying. And John Powell's score is a true standout. Something that can only be described in superlatives, Powell eschews the loud BraaaaHHMM's that we've heard so often for an orchestral and operatic symphony that will sink deep into your bones and make you want to soar on the back of a Night Fury.

But all would be for naught if it were not for the careful and impressive work of a talented cast. Jay Baruchel embues Hiccup with a charm that in another actor's hands would come off as cloying, but instead works to great and often very emotional effect. America Ferrera is excellent as Astrid, and Gerard Butler and Cate Blanchett's subtle work lights up the screen. But Djimon Hounsou, playing the terrifying Drago Bludvist (Say that five times fast.) could be a standout. He says every word like it hurts his throat, but when he screams - the scream of a wounded animal with nothing to lose - you'll know why massive, fire-breathing, tooth-and-clawed dragons call him Master. All of these actors give their characters humanity and humor, elevating the film above your average kiddie fare. The drama is real and affecting, both for kids and their parents. The movie is just as brilliant and engaging in a scene with two characters talking, as when giving us epic dragon battles and action scenes.

In conclusion, How to Train Your Dragon 2 has everything a kids film needs and more. It's got humor and heart, drama and dragons, action and acting, and a strong moral fibre. Stunning visuals, epic music, great character and affecting acting all combine to make a memorable experience at the movies. I can't recommend enough that you take your kids to see this movie. And quite often, you'll be just as entranced as they are. I know I was. My rating? Five deadly nadders out of five.

Guardians of the Galaxy

 

From Marvel, the studio that brought you the global blockbuster franchises of Iron Man, Thor, Captain America and The Avengers, comes a new team—the Guardians of the Galaxy. An action-packed, epic space adventure, Marvel's Guardians of the Galaxy expands the Marvel Cinematic Universe into the cosmos, where brash adventurer Peter Quill finds himself the object of an unrelenting bounty hunt after stealing a mysterious orb coveted by Ronan, a powerful villain with ambitions that threaten the entire universe.

To evade the ever-persistent Ronan, Quill is forced into an uneasy truce with a quartet of disparate misfits—Rocket, a gun-toting raccoon, Groot, a tree-like humanoid, the deadly and enigmatic Gamora and the revenge-driven Drax the Destroyer. But when Quill discovers the true power of the orb and the menace it poses to the cosmos, he must do his best to rally his ragtag rivals for a last desperate stand—with the galaxy's fate in the balance.